How to Calm an Excessively Crying Baby

Every parent knows the feeling. Your baby is crying, and nothing seems to work. You’ve tried everything you can think of, and the tears just keep coming. It’s exhausting, overwhelming, and can leave you wondering if something is seriously wrong.

The truth is, crying is how babies communicate. It’s their only way to tell you they need something, whether that’s food, comfort, a diaper change, or just reassurance that you’re there. Most babies cry between one and three hours per day during their first few months, with fussiness typically peaking around six weeks before gradually improving by three to four months.

But excessive crying can also signal something more concerning. Sometimes, inconsolable crying stems from birth injuries or neurological complications that weren’t immediately apparent in the delivery room. Understanding the difference between normal infant fussiness and crying that warrants medical attention can make all the difference in getting your baby the care they need.

This guide walks through practical, evidence-based techniques for soothing a crying baby, helps you recognize when professional evaluation is necessary, and provides crucial information about protecting both your baby’s wellbeing and your own mental health during these challenging moments.

What to Check First When Your Baby Won’t Stop Crying

Before diving into soothing techniques, run through this systematic checklist. Often, babies cry because of straightforward needs that can be addressed quickly once identified.

Feed and burp your baby. Hunger is the most common reason babies cry. Even if you fed your baby recently, growth spurts can increase their appetite suddenly. After feeding, make sure to burp them thoroughly. Trapped gas causes real discomfort, and a good burp can transform a fussy baby into a content one within minutes.

Check the diaper. A wet or soiled diaper irritates sensitive skin quickly. Change the diaper and look for any signs of diaper rash or irritation that might be causing additional discomfort.

Assess temperature and clothing. Babies can’t regulate their body temperature as well as adults. Feel the back of your baby’s neck or their chest to gauge if they’re too hot or too cold. As a general rule, dress your baby in one more layer than you’re wearing. Check that nothing is too tight around their waist, legs, or arms, and look for tags or seams that might be rubbing uncomfortably.

Look for signs of pain or illness. Take your baby’s temperature if you suspect fever. Examine their body for anything unusual like a rash, redness, or swelling. Check fingers and toes for hair or thread wrapped tightly around them, which can cut off circulation and cause intense pain. Listen to the quality of the cry itself. A high-pitched, shrill cry or an unusually weak cry can indicate pain or illness.

Offer a pacifier. Sucking is inherently calming for most infants. It activates soothing reflexes and can help babies who need to suck beyond feeding times. If you’re breastfeeding and concerned about nipple confusion, wait until breastfeeding is well established before introducing a pacifier, typically around three to four weeks.

Proven Methods to Soothe a Fussy Baby

Once you’ve addressed basic needs, these techniques can help calm an upset baby. Every baby responds differently, so try multiple approaches to discover what works for yours.

Swaddling for security and comfort. Wrapping your baby snugly in a soft blanket mimics the cozy environment of the womb and can be remarkably effective. Keep your baby’s arms close to their body, but leave enough room at the hips and legs for movement. Stop swaddling by two months of age or as soon as your baby shows any signs of attempting to roll over, whichever comes first. Swaddling a baby who can roll creates suffocation risks.

Gentle movement and rhythmic motion. Babies spent nine months in constant motion, so movement often soothes them. Try rocking in a chair, walking around the house with your baby in your arms, placing them in an infant swing, going for a walk with a stroller, or using a baby carrier or sling. Some babies calm almost instantly during a car ride. The combination of motion, white noise from the engine, and gentle vibration creates a powerful calming effect.

White noise and soft sounds. Constant, gentle sounds can block out startling noises and recreate the whooshing environment babies experienced in utero. Try a fan, a white noise machine, soft classical music, or lullabies. Keep the volume at a moderate level. Some parents find that shushing loudly near their baby’s ear while holding them mimics intrauterine sounds effectively.

Physical touch and massage. Skin-to-skin contact regulates your baby’s heart rate, breathing, and stress hormones. Hold your baby against your bare chest, gently massage their back, arms, and legs with soft, circular motions, or lay your baby tummy-down across your lap or chest while you recline. Always supervise tummy time and never let your baby sleep in this position.

Warm baths for relaxation. A warm bath calms many fussy babies, especially in the evening. Make sure the water temperature is comfortably warm but not hot. Test it with your elbow or wrist. Support your baby’s head and neck throughout the bath, and keep the experience brief if your baby doesn’t seem to enjoy it.

Changing the environment. Sometimes babies get overstimulated or simply need a change of scenery. Take your baby into a different room, bring them outside for fresh air, show them a toy, rattle, or bright picture, or gently bounce on an exercise ball while holding them securely.

Reducing overstimulation. While some babies need more input, others become overwhelmed by too much activity. If you’ve been trying many different things, your baby might need less, not more. Dim the lights, lower your voice and any background noise, minimize handling and passing the baby between different people, and create a calm, quiet space.

Adjusting Feeding Practices When Fussiness Persists

Sometimes excessive crying relates to feeding issues or food sensitivities. These adjustments might help if your baby seems uncomfortable after eating or shows signs of digestive distress.

For breastfed babies experiencing ongoing fussiness. Certain foods in a mother’s diet can occasionally pass through breast milk and cause sensitivity in some infants. If you suspect this might be happening, consider temporarily eliminating common culprits like dairy products, caffeine, spicy foods, or foods that cause you gas like beans, broccoli, or cabbage. Make these changes one at a time and give each adjustment at least a week before assessing results. Always discuss dietary changes with your pediatrician or a lactation consultant before making significant modifications. Don’t restrict your diet unnecessarily, as this can affect your milk supply and your own health.

For formula-fed babies with persistent discomfort. Some babies have difficulty tolerating certain formulas. If your baby consistently seems uncomfortable after feeding, shows signs of reflux, has unusual stools, or develops rashes, discuss formula options with your doctor. They might recommend a different type of formula, such as a partially hydrolyzed formula for easier digestion or a soy-based formula if dairy sensitivity is suspected. Never change formulas without consulting your pediatrician first. Frequent switching can worsen digestive issues and make it harder to identify the actual problem.

Feeding technique matters too. Hold your baby in an upright position during feeding to reduce air swallowing. Burp frequently during and after feeds. For bottle-fed babies, make sure the nipple flow isn’t too fast or too slow. If formula flows too quickly, your baby might gulp air along with milk. Too slow, and they’ll work harder and swallow more air from the effort.

Protecting Yourself and Your Baby During Difficult Moments

Caring for an inconsolably crying baby is one of the most stressful experiences a parent can face. The constant noise, the feeling of helplessness, and the exhaustion from sleep deprivation create a perfect storm of frustration. Acknowledging this reality and having a plan for when you reach your limit is essential for both your wellbeing and your baby’s safety.

Never shake, hit, or harm your baby in any way. Shaking a baby, even briefly, can cause traumatic brain injury, bleeding in the brain, blindness, developmental delays, seizures, or death. This is called Shaken Baby Syndrome or Abusive Head Trauma, and it can happen in just seconds of frustration. The damage is often permanent. If you feel yourself getting angry or losing control, it’s not a personal failure. It’s a signal that you need a break immediately.

What to do when you’ve reached your breaking point. Put your baby in a safe place, like their crib or bassinet, even if they’re crying. Make sure they’re on their back with no loose blankets, pillows, or toys. Leave the room and close the door. It’s okay to let your baby cry for a few minutes while you calm yourself down. Take deep breaths, splash cold water on your face, call a friend or family member, or step outside briefly if another adult is home. Your baby will be fine crying alone for a short period. They will not be fine if you lose control.

Building a support system before you need it. Identify people you can call when you’re overwhelmed. This might be your partner, a family member, a friend, or a neighbor. Have their numbers easily accessible. Look up local resources like parent helplines or crisis support numbers and save them in your phone. Join a new parent support group, either in person or online, where you can connect with others experiencing similar challenges. Consider asking someone to come over regularly to give you breaks, even if it’s just an hour to shower and rest.

Remember that this stage is temporary. Fussiness peaks around six weeks and typically improves significantly by three to four months. When you’re in the thick of it at three in the morning, four months feels like an eternity. But these weeks will pass. Your baby will develop new ways to communicate. The crying will decrease. You will sleep again. Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish. It’s necessary for being the parent your baby needs.

When Excessive Crying May Indicate a Birth Injury or Medical Issue

While most infant crying is normal developmental behavior, persistent and inconsolable crying sometimes signals underlying medical problems, including injuries that occurred during birth. Recognizing concerning patterns can lead to earlier diagnosis and intervention.

Understanding different types of concerning cries. Not all cries sound the same, and the quality of your baby’s cry provides important information. A high-pitched, shrill cry that sounds almost like a cat meowing can indicate neurological issues or increased pressure in the brain. A weak, feeble cry or lack of crying even when you’d expect it might signal neurological problems or muscle weakness. A sudden change in your baby’s normal crying pattern, especially if accompanied by other symptoms, warrants medical evaluation.

Birth injuries that can cause excessive crying. Several types of birth injuries may present with persistent crying as an early symptom. Brachial plexus injuries occur when the nerves controlling arm and hand movement are damaged during delivery. Babies with this injury often cry excessively when their affected arm is moved or positioned in certain ways. They may keep one arm still against their body to avoid pain. Intracranial hemorrhage or bleeding in the brain can result from difficult deliveries, particularly those involving vacuum extraction or forceps. Affected babies may cry inconsolably, show extreme irritability, have seizures, or demonstrate unusual lethargy alternating with agitation.

Fractures, particularly of the clavicle or collarbone, are among the most common birth injuries. A baby with a fractured clavicle will cry intensely when that side is touched or when the arm on the affected side is moved. You might notice they don’t move one arm as much as the other. Hypoxic-ischemic encephalopathy, or brain damage from oxygen deprivation during birth, can cause persistent crying, difficulty feeding, unusual muscle tone, and seizures.

Additional symptoms that accompany concerning crying patterns. Pay attention to whether your baby’s excessive crying occurs alongside fever, especially a temperature of 100.4°F or higher in babies under three months, extreme sleepiness or difficulty waking, poor feeding or refusing to eat, vomiting, especially forceful or projectile vomiting, diarrhea or signs of dehydration like fewer wet diapers, rashes or unusual skin discoloration, or physical signs like swelling, bruising, or asymmetry in how your baby moves different body parts.

Documentation helps medical evaluation. If you’re concerned about your baby’s crying, keeping a simple log can help healthcare providers identify patterns. Note when crying episodes occur, how long they last, what seems to trigger them, what soothes your baby or doesn’t help at all, and any other symptoms you observe. This information becomes particularly valuable if your baby’s symptoms are intermittent or if you’re seeing multiple healthcare providers.

How to Know When to Contact Your Pediatrician or Seek Emergency Care

Determining whether your baby needs immediate medical attention, a same-day appointment, or whether their crying falls within normal ranges can be challenging. These guidelines help you make that decision with confidence.

Call your pediatrician within 24 hours if. Your baby cries inconsolably for more than three hours at a stretch, especially if this happens daily or nearly daily. The crying seems different from your baby’s normal cry in pitch, intensity, or pattern. You’ve tried all standard soothing techniques without any improvement. You feel worried that something isn’t right, even if you can’t pinpoint exactly what. Parental intuition matters. You know your baby better than anyone else.

Seek immediate medical care if your baby. Has a fever of 100.4°F or higher and is under three months old. Shows signs of illness along with excessive crying, including vomiting, diarrhea, rash, or extreme lethargy. Has a cry that sounds unusually high-pitched, weak, or completely different from normal. Demonstrates decreased responsiveness or unusual drowsiness. Refuses to eat or has significantly fewer wet diapers than usual. Shows signs of pain in a specific body part, especially if accompanied by swelling, bruising, or limited movement. Has had a recent injury, fall, or accident, no matter how minor it seemed. Experiences what might be a seizure, including rhythmic jerking movements, stiffening, staring spells, or loss of consciousness.

Trust emergency services when necessary. If you’re unsure whether your baby needs emergency care but something feels seriously wrong, err on the side of caution. Call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room. Healthcare providers would much rather evaluate your baby and reassure you that everything is fine than have you wait at home while a serious condition worsens. This is especially true for young infants, where serious infections and complications can develop rapidly.

Prepare information for medical appointments. When you do contact your healthcare provider, having certain information ready helps them assess your baby more effectively. Be prepared to share your baby’s age in weeks, temperature if you’ve taken it, feeding patterns over the last 24 hours, number of wet and dirty diapers in the last day, when the excessive crying started and any patterns you’ve noticed, what soothing techniques you’ve tried, any other symptoms no matter how minor they seem, and your baby’s birth history, including whether there were any complications during delivery.

Finding Support and Resources for Parents of Crying Babies

No parent should feel alone while caring for an excessively crying baby. Multiple resources exist to provide both practical advice and emotional support during this challenging phase.

National helplines and hotlines. The National Parent Helpline at 1-855-427-2736 provides emotional support and advocacy for parents who are stressed or overwhelmed. Trained advocates listen without judgment and can help you develop coping strategies. The Crying Baby Helpline at 1-866-243-2229 offers support specifically for parents dealing with infant crying and colic. Counselors provide strategies and reassurance. The Crisis Text Line allows you to text HOME to 741741 to connect with a trained crisis counselor 24/7 if you’re feeling overwhelmed or in crisis.

Medical resources and specialist care. If your pediatrician suspects your baby’s crying might be related to a birth injury or neurological issue, they may refer you to specialists including pediatric neurologists who evaluate and treat nervous system problems, developmental pediatricians who assess delays or concerns about your baby’s development, or physical therapists who can help with movement issues related to birth injuries.

Parent support and education. Many hospitals offer new parent support groups where you can connect with other families experiencing similar challenges. La Leche League provides breastfeeding support and has local meetings where you can discuss feeding-related concerns. Period of PURPLE Crying is an evidence-based program that helps parents understand normal infant crying patterns and provides coping strategies. Their website offers free resources. Local parent-infant programs, often run through hospitals or community centers, provide education, support groups, and sometimes respite care options.

Online communities with caution. Online parent forums and social media groups can provide connection and shared experiences, which helps combat the isolation many parents feel. However, be cautious about following medical advice from these sources. Use online communities for emotional support and to hear others’ experiences, but always verify medical information with your healthcare provider. Every baby is different, and what worked for someone else’s child may not be appropriate or safe for yours.

Moving Forward with Confidence and Compassion

Caring for an excessively crying baby tests every parent’s patience, endurance, and confidence. You will have moments when you question whether you’re doing everything wrong. You’ll wonder if your baby cries more than other babies. You’ll feel exhausted, frustrated, and sometimes resentful of parents whose babies seem to sleep peacefully through everything.

These feelings are normal, and they don’t make you a bad parent. What makes you a good parent is showing up day after day, trying different approaches, seeking help when you need it, and keeping your baby safe even when you’ve reached the end of your rope. Remember that this intense crying phase is temporary. Your baby isn’t crying to manipulate you or because you’re failing. They’re crying because it’s their only way to communicate, and you’re learning their language together.

If your baby’s crying persists despite trying these evidence-based techniques, or if you notice any concerning symptoms, don’t hesitate to seek medical evaluation. Early identification of potential birth injuries or medical issues leads to better outcomes. Trust your instincts, advocate for your baby, and take care of yourself in the process. You’re doing important, difficult work, and both you and your baby deserve support and compassion.